The Schrodinger Equation & Weight Gain

In quantum mechanics, the Schrodinger equation is a partial differential equation that describes how the quantum state of some physical system changes with time and is shown below:

For our purposes here, let's assume that the quantum state is my weight and/or fitness (does it really matter?) and that the change in time is Nov. 19th - Jan. 2nd.  Furthermore, let's also assume the following values:

i = number of cookies eaten
ħ = pieces of cake consumed
Ƌ = number of chemically made ingredients and/or preservatives in any one product
Ψ = adult beverages
t = time spent NOT exercising

After calculating it all out, throwing it through a couple of double derivatives and then rounding up, you will come to the conclusion that I have put on 9 pounds since race day.  Yup, you read the right....on race day, I weighed about 155 and today I weighed in at 164!  The last time I weighed this much was on 05/22/12 when I was 164.5.  This isn't exactly how I envisioned  my training for 3 different national championships would start out!